idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
