At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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