my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
