I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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