he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
