I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize