Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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