My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
