...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
