You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize