the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I see more hoeing in ur future
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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