I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
