Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
