And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
