How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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