Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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