Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
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How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
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I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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