I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I love you.
Bad choice
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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