So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
me + whiskey = a bad person
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize