He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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