your thong is hanging out like whoa
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
