need another drink. this is the easiest way
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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