You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
