i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
