talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
