walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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