yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
