Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
