I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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