You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize