I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
