Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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