I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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