I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
