Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
