Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
