Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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