i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
