Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
