Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize