ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
