I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
i think i just naturally attract stoners
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize