dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I use my feet as sexual weapons
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
