No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize