Pappa wants mamma naked
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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