Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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