There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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