the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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