in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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