What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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