it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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