Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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