Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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