I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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