Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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