How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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