a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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