Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize