There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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