Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.