did you get engaged???
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
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I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?